So we can all agree that breakups suck, right?
In a recent Good Up Podcast episode we discussed the worst breakups we’ve experienced and how painful the aftermath felt. The crying, the anxiety, the questioning of what went wrong: it all takes a toll on our emotional (and sometimes physical) well being.
Because of how hard they can be it's no surprise why so many people try to avoid the end of romantic relationships at all costs. But what if we're missing the valuable lessons that come from them?
Here are four reasons why that breakup might actually be the best thing to ever happen to you.
Your relationship wasn't healthy to begin with.
This may not apply in every case, but breakups don't just happen for no reason. The end of a relationship signifies that one or both partners either couldn't find a way or lacked the desire to make things work. While processing a breakup, it's worth asking yourself whether your needs (or your partner's needs for that matter) were being fully met. How many of us have found ourselves lonely during a breakup, just to realize we were already lonely in the relationship? It's completely okay to feel sadness about a relationship being over. Just remember to take a good look at what things were like when you were in it.
It gives you an opportunity to prioritize yourself in ways you haven't been.
Love for another person is a beautiful thing, but it can sometimes eclipse the love you have for yourself. Relationships can cause us to stop prioritizing ourselves in a way that we get to revisit when we're single. So much of our time is spent with our partners that even the things we do for fun begin to involve them. This can make breakups tough, but it can also be the perfect time to begin exploring hobbies, places, practices, and even people that you may have become estranged from during your relationship. It's also a good time to discover new things you might find interest in.
It teaches you how to be better for future partners.
As we said on our episode "The Buss Chest Process," the person responsible for the demise of your last relationship is not always your ex. A breakup is a good time to take accountability for your own performance as a partner. How could you have been better? Where might you have fallen short? How do you want to show up in future relationships? Nothing gives you a better opportunity to turn the mirror on yourself than the end of a relationship. Before you hit them streets again, it may be time to go talk to that lady (a therapist!)
It gives you an opportunity to be honest with yourself about what you really want.
Remember earlier when we discussed your needs not being met? Going through a breakup is also time for you to take inventory of what was missing in your last relationship. What things did you accept that you may not want to take with you into future partnerships? What did you settle for?
If you're currently nursing a broken heart, we encourage you to take some time for introspection as you heal. A breakup is never easy, but if you take your time to process, it may turn out to be the best thing that's ever happened to you.
